Moving into residential care marks an important new chapter for individuals and their loved ones. The emotional experience can be complex: while there is often a sense of relief at the prospect of accessing wraparound care, this may be tinged with feelings of uncertainty and sadness. Family members who have provided day-to-day care may also feel a sense of loss associated with a perceived change of role and caring responsibility.
A move into residential care may bring changes to family dynamics, but you can continue to play a vital role, ensuring your loved one feels connected, supported and fulfilled. Maintaining familiar routines and enjoying shared experiences will help retain connections, and family involvement can also assist teams in providing the best possible care.
By taking some practical and proactive steps, relatives and friends can offer vital support to a loved one, helping them adapt to a different way of life in residential care.
The Important Role of Family & Friends
The support of loved ones can make a new living situation feel more familiar and comfortable. Familiar faces, routines and conversation can provide a sense of continuity, which is especially important soon after a move. Families can also ensure care teams understand their loved ones in greater depth, sharing insights that can enhance personalisation. The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) highlights the importance of maintaining relationships with family and friends in care settings, noting their contribution to personal identity and mental wellbeing. Similarly, family involvement has been related to positive quality of life benefits for residents, particularly those living with dementia.
The following steps can help families and friends support a loved one who has moved into a residential care setting.
1. Stay Connected in Ways That Feel Natural
Maintaining familiar customs can help someone remain connected to who they are and what they enjoy doing, assisting with the transition into a new space. Comfortable, familiar routines can be important, such as a Sunday lunch, watching a favourite programme together, taking a walk or going out for a coffee.
It can also be helpful to write letters, talk on the phone and take other family members and friends along for a visit. Speak with your loved one and find out what will feel most comfortable for them, and what they will enjoy. Some people may want time to adjust while others will look forward to welcoming visitors straight away.
2. Tailor Living Spaces for the Individual
Helping a loved one personalise their living space can make it feel more familiar and comfortable. Meaningful possessions from home can bring continuity, especially items such as photographs, artwork, books and ornaments. For someone living with dementia, familiar items may also provide valuable visual cues tied to their memories.
Consider the details that make the space feel distinctly theirs. Choosing music, paint colours, soft furnishings, flowers and other personal touches can help make the space their own.
3. Work in Partnership with the Care Team
Building a strong relationship between care teams, medical professionals and residents’ families can improve the care that is offered. The Social Care Institute for Excellence (SCIE) guidance on person-centred care in residential settings describes families and friends as partners, focusing on the valuable insights they can provide into a person’s history, strengths and preferences. This information can ensure teams understand what makes an individual feel comfortable, and how they prefer to spend their time. Open communication also allows care teams and loved ones share updates, recognise changes and plan together.
4. Keep Identity at the Heart of Care
A person’s values and interests are an important part of their identity. Families can help maintain an individual’s sense of identity by preserving the routines and experiences that matter to them, as well as assisting carers as they get to know them on a deeper level by sharing stories, information and items such as photographs and memory books. This can be particularly valuable when a resident is settling into a new care setting, sparking conversation and creating opportunities for meaningful personalisation. By continuing to focus on the person beyond the care needs, families can help keep a loved one’s identity at the core of their experience of residential care.
5. Develop Interests & Create New Experiences
Residential care can be an opportunity to try new things with additional support, and families can encourage engagement with new experiences and hobbies. It’s also important to make space and time for existing passions, with family involvement where preferred. Share the things that really light up your loved one with their care teams and find ways to make sure they can still form part of their life. A thoughtful care setting will place great importance on meaningful experiences as part of a fulfilling life.
6. Celebrate the Milestones that Matter
Birthdays, anniversaries and other family celebrations offer opportunities to bring loved ones together and create new memories. It can bring a welcome sense of familiarity to someone who is settling into residential care, and the small moments can often be just as meaningful. A slice of cake and a cup of tea in the company of loved ones can continue long-standing traditions that are part of the rhythm of life.
7. Support Independence & Choice
Having a choice and agency in everyday life can help relieve many of the anxieties that come with change. Make sure they are involved in decision making, big and small; what they wear, what they eat and what their day looks like, as well as what their care plan should include. Family involvement in care plans is key, and it can be helpful to start with the future instead of the present to establish how a person can continue living with confidence and independence.
It can be difficult to sit down and have big conversations on demand, so stay in touch about how your loved one is feeling. During visits, take the time to listen and ask direct questions about how they are and what they need, keeping communication open and honest. Ask open-ended questions so they can use their own words, giving you the opportunity to listen and fully grasp what they tell you. This way, care plans can be created and adjusted over time, reflecting changing priorities that are led by the individual.
8. Allow Time to Adjust
Everyone will adapt to a move differently, and at their own pace. A new environment and unfamiliar faces can take time to become comfortable, especially for an older adult who has lived independently for a long time. Be calm and patient during the transition, and give your loved one time to process it. Take their lead, offering the option of visits while also recognising that they may want some time and space to themselves. There is no right way to adjust and recognising it as a process rather than giving it a set timeframe can remove the pressure.
9. Look After Yourself Too
It can be difficult to help care for a loved one, and moving into a residential care setting is a major change in both your lives. Feelings can include sadness, uncertainty or guilt, which can take time to process, particularly when your role in providing day-to-day care changes. Giving yourself time to adjust is crucial, and you should make space for your own relationships, interests and wellbeing.
The Value of Loved Ones During Life’s Transitions
A move into residential care can give families more opportunity to focus on spending enjoyable, meaningful time together, with less pressure for interactions to be centred around practical care. The continued involvement of family and friends can provide familiarity and reassurance, and you can navigate the transition together so your loved one feels supported.
At Loveday, we recognise the important role family and friends play. We work with loved ones to create a supportive partnership around each individual, focusing on how they want to live.
To learn more about the Loveday approach and luxury living in residential care, please contact our Relationship team.
